All-Star Boredom

The first Sunday of the year without football is always an adventure, and for some reason I can never remember what I did without football on this weekend last year. Back in August, it was easy to fill a Sunday afternoon because the Phillies were playing, and a game of wiffle ball or volleyball was always calling.But sadly, it's the end of the January, and it's too cold to play either sport (and I'm using the term "sport" loosely for wiffle ball because I really don't think it can be classified as a sport if a person can play the entire game while holding a beer), and the Phillies are still a few weeks away from reporting for spring training down in Florida.
So on this Sunday I tried filling my day with various activities that would make me feel as manly as I feel when I'm sitting around watching football.
I tried watching the NBA, but then I remembered how much I hate watching professional basketball and quickly turned off the Celtics/Magic game. Then I tinkered with my car, and I failed miserably at fixing my broken brake light. Apparently changing the bulb was not the solution, so I'm completely clueless as to what's wrong with it, and still have a broken brake light.
Then after some Xbox 360, I landed on the NHL All-Star game! Yes! Sports at its finest. Because when I think of quality entertaining sporting events, I immediately think of all-star games (I know you can't see my face, but please detect the sarcasm in my writing).
So I watched about ten minutes of the NHL All-Star game, because that was really all that I could take of it, but it got me thinking about this: Which all-star game is the best?
In reverse order, here we go!
NFL Pro Bowl: The NFL does one thing right with their All-Star game. It comes after the season. As my friend Jim pointed out, the Flyers (with the exception of that pounding at the hands of the Devils) were on a roll, and now they get forced to sit for four days. After that facet of the game, the Pro Bowl is pretty much worthless. Safeties aren't allowed to cover wide receivers outside of the hashmarks, players don't really hit anyone, and I'm shocked they haven't instituted an "auto-hike" rule straight off the playground, so the wide receivers don't have to come back to the huddle.
Enjoyment rating: 1 out of 10
NBA All-Star Game: This might be the only all-star game that players don't opt out of for "health" reasons. However, I can't really enjoy this game because the goal isn't to win, it's to make a SportsCenter top 10 highlight. I can't stand watching every third trip down the court result in Tracy McGrady trying for a Phi Slamma Jamma dunk off the backboard, but actually just throwing the ball into the stands or to the other team.
Enjoyment rating: 4 out of 10
NHL All-Star Game: This mid-season battle is fine display of what is good about hockey, but I really need to see some hitting and maybe even a few fights to enjoy a hockey game. I love that the best players in the world compete in this game, and they can show off their talents because no one is playing defense, but I need some checking! Would it really kill the NHL to reward the league's best fighters with a chance to pound each other on a national stage? It sure would liven up the game a little if the NHL took a few players that really despise each other and put them out on the ice.
Enjoyment rating: 7 out of 10
MLB All-Star Game: This is the most enjoyable all-star game of the bunch, and coincidentally, the most like an actual game. Unlike the other three sports, baseball is more of an individual, one-on-one game, so the all-star game is just like a regular season match-up, only better! Each pitcher/hitter match-up is a quality battle, and there really isn';t any showboating. It's simply the best hitters facing the best pitchers. I like the idea of seeing Mariano Rivera pitching the ninth inning with a one run lead and having to face a Murderers' Row of Ryan Howard, Prince Fielder, and Albert Pujols (I know they are all first basemen, but it's hypothetical!). Granted, it's always on Fox, which means we have to listen to Joe Buck and Tim McCarver, but other than that, there really isn't a bad part of baseball's midsummer classic. Best of all, the winning side actually gets something worthwhile, in that their league champion gets home field advantage in the World Series.
Enjoyment rating: 8 out of 10
Wow, after this analysis, I've come to the conclusion that Bud Selig actually did something right in the last 15 years. Who would have thought that?